Are you there friends? It’s me, Pia.
I have 74 days left on this trip. I need to write, and it is fucking hard. I don’t know if it’s harder because I’m single, but it does suck to not have any one person to be mad at for not supporting me in all the ways that I need. Because yeah, I know that’s what relationships often add up to–really, how could anyone ever support a crazy academic in all the ways that they need?–but there still is something comforting about having someone besides oneself to seethe with anger towards as one tries to be productive. And then you get to write nice things about that person in your book acknowledgments.
I apologize for my cynicism, I know some of you have relationships that do not look like this. Or at least only sometimes look like this. But hey, gotta make myself feel better somehow. (Recently learning that my ex’s wife is on exclusive night duty with their 6-month old because of his sleeping issues helps too.)
I do love Paris. I do feel good about the progress I’ve made on the book. I do feel more and more confident that it is a publishable project. In many ways I’m in a good place, both literally and figuratively. Hell, I’m even interested in what I’m working on, and how often does that happen at this stage of a project? But it’s the day by day that’s killing me. The #shutupandwrite. And what I need now, from all of you friends who still read my blog from time to time to see what I’m up to, I need some positive energy and encouragement. I know that as a bitter and cynical person it seems wrong for me to ask for positive energy and encouragement, but it’s what I need. For the next 74 days, as much as you can stand. Comment on my posts, or send me someecards, or do something. Please. It will help. I need a cheering team.
And if anyone else is embarking on a summer project that they’d like some support and accountability for, feel free to drop me a line. I’m trying to hit this any which way I can, so the more accountabilibuddies the merrier.